Song of the Summer

I sat there
the piano kept playing.
the keys just not pressed down.
they said the chords sang their own song.
of twilight and gun barrels.
pointing them towards the stars.
and shooting round after round.
to a night that could very well fall down.
but those crystal chandeliers.
they mock my love.
and so do you.

and I'm lying to myself
for hours on end with a clock
that I covered in tape and pictures of you
and me
and other people
because I snap photos of other people
hoping to understand something about myself
Hoping that I'm not turning into the bloody wreck that you are,
that I don't share the same twisted values that you so gladly display
as you rape daylight out of everything I believed
with something sticking out in the middle
the fact that there's no stopping you  
so deafening and deadly that it could set this 1:42AM into the utmost green flame

But I'm not coming back
I'M NOT COMING BACK
You wish I was coming back?
You also wish I was dead
By the side of the road
with everything I ever dreamed of
every moment I worked for
caught in the headlights
then spliced and splattered on the tar
just between the lines; reading; watching
waiting like a bystander
grinning like a villain
With the blood still blue on your hands

and the buildings seemed to rise that night
or maybe they swelled with the tide

I can't see anymore.
I never knew there was a switch for the sun
and I never knew you'd be so happy to flick it the other way.

hearts and cars and statistics
and the sweat we poured on blueprints
the nights we spent winding the gears
tightening and tuning this so fine
because explosions are so hard to plan
but when they work  
then it will make things just a bit better.

because when we pull the stops
we'll hit the big city in no time
with no lights and no hope
because that's where we would walk and dance
and where you wanted to devirginate my head.
and I won't let you this time.  

I saw the iron cross in your pocket
I saw my identity draped on your back
so that when they fired
they would hit me first
and I would bleed for you  
I BLED for you   
and you never knew
so let's convince the world
that we're okay
okay?

because I'll only sleep sound when I can't hear your gears grinding in my head anymore.